28th Musing: Why I Hate Freud

RLN:
So I sent out to a couple literary agents and one talent agency (and I had to resubmit because I oh-so-intelligently forgot to attach the resume. Wonderful. Besides the headshots, the picture I sent is pretty funny because I tried to do a Jenna-Louise Coleman (Oswin Oswald in Doctor Who) sort of face except with the eyes looking at the camera and it ended up making me look very...well, I'm not sure how to say it, but I definitely looked distinctive and like I have a lot of personality!
I guess we'll see how it goes.
oh, so I am still sick, which is pretty sad because it's been since Sunday, but I'm on antibiotics now, so we'll see when it dies down.
was listening to: the piano duel from "The Secret" a Taiwanese (I think) movie--still amazing every time I watch the video of it
RLN over.

So as I was reading about Freud and subsequently complaining about him to my friend who shares the same passionate hate, I thought why not just make a blog post with all of my complaints?
I'll just make a list for easier reading.

1. He relates everything to sex!!!
     a. example: he believed that you have always been unconsciously jealous of the parent of the same gender because he/she is in your way of having sex with the parent you "desire"
     b. the story I was telling my friend was: once he had a patient who had no feeling in their hand without any biological/neurological reasoning. So, obviously it MUST be because he "had fear of touching his genitals" (not my words)
    c. he believed that at every age (even babies...) people enjoyed deriving some sexual pleasure and believed through every age we go through some part of the "psychosexual stages"

2. He was completely sexist
     a. one of many examples is that he thought when women started wearing pantsuits that they had "penis envy". I mean, it's really hard to be objective when studying him--it's like he has bricks for brains or something.

Ok, I can't even continue he just bothers me so much.

The few things I do like is that he came up with the id, the ego, and the superego, which I think is accurate (though I don't believe the id is purely sex-filled as he, of course, said). Also, I find his defense mechanisms to be mostly true. He has some good moments, but was blinded by idiocy.

Going slightly off-topic, more and more, I'm starting to hate most psychologists/therapists just because they are generally just kinda...useless. None of them really know how to take care of a patient AAAND they are mostly crazy themselves!! So, crazy and useless. BUT when they aren't, they are wonderful! BUT, it's rare...

27th Musing: Enjoying the Moment

looong RLN:
So, I'm pretty sick and totally lost my voice--somehow that manages to happen to me...not that it goes well because any who knows me knows how terribly silent I am....
Whenever I'm around people and I can't talk, like right now, they always make fun of me by either laughing or doing the old "What?? I can't hear you!!" and then they laugh. Okay, I maybe actually find it amusing XD
But another update is that I am currently having a query crisis! So, I sent mine in to the Query Shark (you should all follow her, she is soooo funny and really awesome!) AKA Janet Reid of Fine Print Lit. for a possible chance of being critiqued. Additionally, I've joined some forums where people will just give critiques for free, which is very nice!
Oh, so I finally had ramen at a legitimate Japanese place (as opposed to some instant concoction I would make at home)! It was a combination of noodles (obviously), corn, bamboo shoots, onions, and fishcakes (these rubbery things that don't quite have taste, but they're very fun!

and here we see fishcakes! which are actually called kamaboko?

Aren't they so happy-making? :D

Anyways...that might have gotten ramen out of my system...for now!

Currently listening to: Ice Cream by: Hyuna (don't judge me, well ok, you can--I'm judging myself, too).
Current obsessions: 1. Tom Hiddleston and soon to be Robert Downey Jr. too and the rest of the Avengers actors and characters too (yes, still), 2. literary and talent agencies (who seem to hate me lol)
I guess not much has changed!
RLN over!

Now for the actual topic, I'll be pondering on something that is basically striking me from all corners and I sincerely believe it's like some sort of message at this point. I've been seeing "Enjoy the present, live the moment, etc" sort of statements before and, especially, since TWEWY. It's the main motto of the artist CAT, whom the protagonist deeply admires and part of the story is about him broadening his world and, as stated above, enjoying every moment for what it is.
The weird thing though is that I get these notifications on a certain popular social networking site (oh what could it be?) from "God" or some sort of application I looked at once before and it's basically philosophy that God would say (or something along those lines). So when it says "God has a new message for you!" I usually ignore it (sorry), but this time something inside said to click it for some reason and what comes up...is another "enjoy the moment" statement! Although, it was quite nice. I'll just repost it here:

"Every moment is an opportunity to be happy.
Don't just take a shower--feel into and receive pleasure from the water on your skin. Don't just walk on the street--enjoy the fragrances of the trees and flowers on your way. Don't just drive your car--sing karaoke to your favorite radio station" (so would MLA want me to cite this as God? XD)

It's a bit shortened, but that's the gist. Personally, when I'm walking I do appreciate the beauty of nature around me and other little things that people ignore or take for granted. I think my problem is that I'm not quite slowing down enough to be completely satisfied with my life. Even though I'm young, I have so many goals and aspirations that I feel like my life is unsatisfying when they aren't happening. I need to stop that because my life is perfect the way it is, and dreams have their time to come true.

My friend (I actually talked about her in my post about learning Korean) has her own blog (which I can't read...yet!) and she posted a philosophical quote semi-recently and translated it for me. It was a metaphor about how young people always want to be successful and achieve so many things in their lives, but they are like flowers and need to bloom fully and really develop until their time comes. Everyone takes a different time to bloom because there are, of course, many renowned young people. But, it's really just reiterating today's musing (which is not actually at midnight, go figure).
To those of you who know this metaphor, sorry if I botched it up or explained it wrong in any way.

on a semi-related note, look how pretty these floor tiles are!
I think they're Italian? They are fireweed flowers, which I discovered
a couple minutes ago. So you, too, can bloom on this floor tile! Yeah...
I'm gonna regret putting this on...

I hope my blog posts aren't too long? I would say today's can make up for my lack of speaking ability, but...they're always like this! :D
I hope you have a great morning, day, night, wherever your time zone lies!

What a Fail.

I would like to take this moment to point out that I spelled the title of my own manuscript wrong (sort of). It was one word and I botched it up because I am a fail.
And I have sent it off to agents.
That is all.
You can applaud now.

26th Musing: A Small Resolution

Another post about acting! It'll be short (though knowing me it will tangent into something long), I promise!
So as I was giving up on my acting dreams and wondering whether they were truly dreams or something I just thought I wanted to do, I realized that I didn't want to give up just yet.
The thing about me is, I know how to act and what I should do in my mind, but in front of people and expressing it, I suddenly feel awkward in my own body and I feel silly if I use emotion, as if I will actually emote wrong (because, like I said in another post, I'm not good with that). Typical commercials would be so easy for me because it really requires a bright personality and confidence in front of a camera. It's like modeling, but saying a conversation...right?
The real acting lies in complex emotional works. Personally, I prefer tragedies. Some comedies I like, but they don't move me like tragedies do unless done in a certain way that appeals to me personally. I especially do not like musicals like "Grease", "Hairspray", "Fame", etc. I did like the "Hairspray" movie though, that was good, but generally, they're unappealing.
So as I was watching "Thor", I was so inspired by everyone there, especially Tom Hiddleston and so much in the end! His voice, his body language, the depth and emotion he conveyed (especially as he was totally different from how he acts in interviews!!). He's just so brilliant and inspiring, so I would really love to be like him!
Therefore, my resolution is not to give up on acting and put myself into it and any emotions I have. I may not work up to expressing myself in real life, but at least I can do it on stage/camera, whichever (though I feel 50 times more comfortable with the second). I would really like a commercial agent, so I could sort of work up, I guess. The theatre around me is all either musicals or comedies, so my heart wouldn't be in it at all. Is that the wrong attitude?
I suppose we'll see what happens. I have the determination, initiative, and technically the experience, so...who knows?

25th Musing: Literary Agents, the Query Process, (and Thanksgiving!)

RLN:
To all the Americans out there, Happy Thanksgiving!!! I am thankful to anyone who is reading this! and so many other things too! Listing them would take up way too much room, so I'll stop there (plus I sort of made a Thanksgiving post a couple weeks ago). To every other country, happy Thursday!
Speaking of which, has anyone seen that "It's Thanksgiving" video that's supposed to be the next Friday? My favourite part is when she randomly starts rapping then sings into a turkey leg. I also like when the producer guy just slowly pops up from the bottom of the screen. I would give you a link, but...do I really want to promote it?
Current obsession: perfecting my piano playing of Chopin!, nothing really new here (as it's been less than 24 hours, but I like to keep things fresh).
Currently listening to: Bubble Pop by: Hyuna (lol Will I be judged for this?)
RLN over.

For quite a few months now, I've been trying to get a literary agent and landed myself with nothing but form rejections! Now, I know that's normal and it doesn't get me down unlike some people who get one and fall into some depressed state. It's luck, really, and a lot of "query formatting" and hard-work....but once you got a good query down, it's A LOT of luck.

Right now, my dream agents are Janet Reid (doesn't represent my genre anymore :( ) and Brooks Sherman who is quite the character! I have reblogged the things on his tumblr too many times... Though somehow before I developed a, what I call to be, "agent crush" on him, I wrote to him at the end of August with a standard query, which wasn't personal because I didn't have any info on him really. Now, I've tweeted him a couple things and got replies--alriiight! Although I hope he isn't creeped out that I actually told him I have an agent crush on him...

(Update: Yay! He responded to me! The gist of my tweet was that I was sad that I somehow already queried him in August before I developed my agent crush on him: "Aww. Well, tweak that query for other agents. And if you query another project in the future, look me up! ;)"
(I love this guy XD Hmm...maybe it would be best if I found another agent crush--someone I haven't written to!)
If you're reading this...I'm not really sure what I want to tell you...Have a good day?)

Anyways!! I won't put my query letter here, but I will say that my genre is psychological/slice-of-life YA (young adult). It's loosely based on "A Tale of Two Sisters" (at least the psychology part) and a sliver of it is based on...well, here is the part where I'm glad the internet is anonymous!!
...Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue... (but just THAT PR, not any other series! This one is quite complex for a little kid's show, really!)
I just continue to embarrass myself, don't I? It's because I love you readers.

    ???

(Ok, it's not based tooo much off of these, just a couple things here and there, so it's not THAT unappealing, I promise!)


Generally, querying is confusing because many agents say different things. They do all agree on the fact to NEVER make your query longer than a page (well, unless that specific agent is unique and wants more). Some want a lengthy summary and some want a small blurb--the big picture. Some want personal, some want blunt. It really comes down to the type of person they are, so I make sure to do a lot of research!



My outline goes like this:

Dear wonderful agent,

intro--how I found them, maybe personal detail, genre, word count, and title of my book (title is in CAPS)

small summary with main plot points. The spoiler about my book is that the two characters I switch off between are actually the same person, but I read not to spoil something like that here unless I have a bigger twist.

bio

Thank for your time and consideration (etc.)

From, desperate author (juuust joking)


Well, that's the basics! And now I'm off to put my sheet music in the right order...

24th Musing: Tokyo!

RLN:
So I really couldn't think of anything to post about! Actually, I had a couple ideas, which I forgot, of course! That tends to happen when you think of things while you're half-asleep...
But anyways, this came to mind, so here it is! (well, after the RLN).
Current obsessions: 1. still TWEWY and playing the "Another Day" section, 2. I need to make ramen!! or Tamago Kake Gohan (look it up lol), 3. blogging..., 4. The Avengers!! yes, again. Maybe add the individual heroes to the list too.
currently listening to: Chopin's Revolutionary Etude (op 10 no 12). It's awesome! (usually don't use this adjective, but I guess it fits...and trust me, I really don't listen to classical music that often because I'm so picky about it!)
Is that really all? I thought there was more...
RLN over.

Recently, I watched some travel show special on Tokyo for Japanese class with a stereotypical Australian guy for a host. When people imitate Australian accents, it sounds just like his--like Steve Irwin! (Who seemed like a much better guy, though). It was actually kind of funny! ...Well, I thought so!
Anyways, he was like a typical, clueless tourist who couldn't speak a word of Japanese, but he seemed at least fascinated by it. Though, I could tell he was pretty arrogant, but amusing. Very ESTP, too XD.

Anyways, he went to different places in Tokyo (including Shibuya!) and it made me want to go more!
(Jeez, I feel like my Japanese "sensei" :D should see this and, like, give me extra credit or something). Anyways, the fashion looked so strange, but most of the time, it was pretty cool! Of course, the streets of Harajuku had a generous share of unique fashions that one would only find in Tokyo. I feel like Shibuya fashion is generally a bit more mainstream.

Another place that looked really nice was the inn, which was very traditional--futons, decorated screens, and all. I really liked the isolated, tranquil feel of it. I really appreciate it when countries still honor their culture like that....and I really wanted to sleep there! Though I'm not exactly introverted, I would love to squirrel away in that small little room and just...do whatever I wanted with no disturbances in such a nice atmosphere!

Speaking of hotel-like places, there's a hotel that's popular with business who missed their train (it stops running at a certain time), so they just go into this cheap, but cool-looking place where the rooms are literally capsules. I wonder if I would feel claustrophobic or like it?

The city is just so lively and interesting! Before I thought of Tokyo as just another metropolis, but it really has a distinct flavor about it. Someday, I'll get there.

So currently, I decided to watch "Durarara!" (can't forget the ! at the end, which is actually part of its title) because it reminded me of "The World Ends With You" (and whoever translated it to the dub version uses the exact same slang ("Gotta bounce!"), which is more nostalgia (but not nostalgia because I'm still playing it...
on a random note, Izaya is just so...interesting.
Here's the fun scene I talked about before!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKEaf3bpJB4

It depicts Tokyo as less safe than TWEWY, but overall, it's a pretty similar perspective. And it's weird how they both talk about realities changing with the person, which is something I've always thought of but never heard voiced until I played "The World Ends With You".
Maybe that will be my next (or somewhere around there) topic!

captioned as: Harajuku's main strip

Harajuku girls!

(photo cred (because I should start doing that): Wikipedia for all of them coincidentally).

23rd Musing: Characters I Admire (V), but perhaps I really shouldn't... (II)

This one will be kinda short, maybe. I guess we'll see!
So, our character this time is....

Loki from "Thor" and "The Avengers"!

MBTI type: INTJ

See? He doesn't look evil, he looks friendly!

Alright, fine, I'll give you an evil picture:

I'm not sure whether to classify him as a sympathetic villain (in my opinion) or an anti-villain. Hmm, most likely a villain because even when you think he'll change his mind or return to the side of good, he stabs someone with a scepter or something of that manner.

I really love the way he speaks and whenever he had an exchange with any of the modern Americans trying to stop him, I always thought they sounded so unintelligent after hearing him (or Thor, for that matter). Except, Ironman. Somehow he always managed to sound witty even when he was using modern language/slang.

But seriously, he's just so cool! The way he walks, dresses (as the actor said, approximately 30 pounds of metal and leather!) with the cool pointy helmet (and here's where I start to sound like an excited 10-year-old if I haven't already). And the actor really pulled off the menacing glare or the creepy smile when he needed to.

Tom Hiddleston is utter perfection, especially as he knew exactly where Loki was coming from and refrained from judging him in order to become the character on camera. A good actor truly loves the character he plays. Loki isn't completely terrible, he just...has a lot of feelings!...and a healthy (?) sense of determination! Of course, I don't like his homicidal (genocidal?) tendencies and the fact he wants to rule all the worlds, but I do appreciate the complexity of his character. No matter how strong he appears, he has a vulnerability to him, which every person has. (Good job, screenwriter!). 

Hmm...anything else? I guess this did end up being long.

RLN:

So I had a depressing blog post, but I deleted it because it didn't come out so coherently and whatever, I'm over it. I'm not sure I'll have a "my life at the moment" blog post soon. I kind of want to, but I'm not even sure what I'd put! Ha, maybe I'll put a TWEWY-themed post. "I'm F-ing this ramen! F...for FABULOUS! I only F things I really like!"

current obsessions: interpals!, Loki/Tom Hiddleston (but that goes without saying...), blogging, TWEWY (still), ramen (no, like, seriously)