13th Musing: Ramblings About the Future

(You know maybe if I kept this blog up more often, I'd have more than two followers who only follow me because they're my friends...)

So I have recently discovered after several years of holding on to the dream of being an actress, I realized that the theatre is not exactly my forte. I really love acting...but when I'm alone where I cannot look foolish in front of an audience. It's really facing other people and gauging how ridiculous my interpretation of a monologue is or something that inhibits me. Also, I am terrible at screaming or crying even when I'm alone, so emotions are just very hard to show on stage. Film acting sounds extremely fun and I'd probably do very well at commercials being the upbeat sort of person I am. However, real acting is a challenge. In school, I dropped my last year of theatre because we weren't doing anything except reading children's stories out loud to each other or other busy work exercises like pretending to be parts of a machine (to learn teamwork!! :/ ) and then she criticized us for doing a half-assed job whereas I wanted to criticize her for giving us a half-assed activity. Or maybe more like 10% assed. What a weird expression.
Currently, there are many things I want to be, though what I would love to be soon is a published author. I love creating characters most of all (and I don't know why, but naming them is really fun...)
In another life I would love to be a concert pianist (but I'm afraid it is not important enough for me to spend hours upon hours of practicing and studying theory). Fashion designing sounds really fun too, but once again, the level of dedication has to be there. Also, I dress very well, but I don't like mainstream fashion as much. I like when it has a certain flair. I think street fashion, especially in Japan, is pretty cool...
Oh, but anyways, I find it interesting when I find my friends or other people even ten years older than me saying they still have no idea what they want to do in life. I've always known in every stage of life--I had a very large goal and smaller, more practical ones.
I know that school makes it hard to focus on your desired career because they force you to study subjects you hate, especially in East Asia where you have to study for hours on end--like Korea where you have to stay at school until 10 at night. Without free time or a more specialized approach, it's hard for someone who really knows themselves to get a sense of what field they want to go into. Though this could bring higher test scores to fuel the government's love for competition, it can ultimately hurt a country because there would be no innovation or passion for their work, but instead a lot of business people or doctors or lawyers who may not want to help people so much as want money, a respectable career, and a stable job. It just hurts everyone.
I'm not saying this is everyone's case, but it is definitely a clear outcome that is all too common.